The Biggest Perverts
by fiftyshadesofanimetrash
Summary: "Have you noticed...well...a change...a sudden change..in Sakura during the war?" - A "sudden" change in our pink-haired queen arose a conversation between our favorite shinobi that may or may not have irritated Sasuke to no end. Sasusaku! Post-battle!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto sighed in relief, stretching out as he stared up at the daytime sky he felt he hadn't seen this vividly in centuries.

Finally! It was about time he left that cramped hospital. In all honesty, being with Sasuke and bickering over who would get their meals first, who would recover faster, and anything petty which they can compete over was getting tiring.

Yes; as soon as the two boys ( or "men") recovered from their final battle, let's just say the battle never exactly ended. The two were still like fire and ice, oil and water, and everything in between. Of course, the serious battles ended and they were on a-okay terms, but the stupid ones like when they were a part of Team 7 were never over. Though, due to what has happened, they also never understood each other better than they did now. Their bond was nearly unbreakable, but being stuck in one place for months definitely assisted in the crankiness rising in the two ninja.

" _Ahhhhhh_ ~! Senseiiiiii! The village looks better already!" Naruto looked around with wide eyes and an open mouth; it was explainable, actually; Naruto hasn't really been out of the hospital for two months at least.

Kakashi twitched at the comment, a sweat drop dripping down the side of his temple. "That's...erm...easy for you to say, Naruto."

" _Eh_? What do you mean?!" -Let's also not forget Naruto was back to his old self again. Loud? Check.

"The village has been repairing itself ever since you two were checked into the hospital. Trust me, it looked a lot worse," Kakashi made a sigh with his eyes closed. "of course, let's not forget it wasn't entirely your doing. A war doesn't exactly help the matters..."

Naruto's face now turned to shock and he made a nervous grin. "I didn't think of it that way...Mannnn, it's been a _while_!" Naruto had been walking in circles, head constantly moving to scan the terrain. "Hey, hey, _hey_ , where's Sakura? I didn't get to thank her again for ya' know, helping us!" Naruto referred to him and Sasuke when he said 'us'.

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, thanking-wise," Kakashi explained through his mask, though thought for a minute. "now that you mention it though...I'm not exactly sure _where_ she is. She runs a tight shift with Shizune, so she should have been at the hospital by now."

Naruto made an 'oh' expression with his face.

"Anyways, I do have something...concerning..to ask you."

"Eh?" Naruto turned to look at Kakashi, raising an eyebrow. "Oh no...there's not another war again, right?! Oh, man, aw man, I _just_ recovered! I-I mean...I was up and ready to leave the hospital _days_ ago but this is still bad! Eh, Kakashi-sensei? Isn't this ba-"

"Naruto, calm down. I know you're hyper after leaving the hospital, but this isn't about that. I have a question about...Sakura." Kakashi leaned closer now, like he really didn't want anyone else to hear.

Naruto stared, rather perplexed. "Yeah? What about her?"

"Have you noticed...well...a change...a sudden change..in Sakura during the war?"

"Oh?" Naruto leaned close as well with wide eyes. "Of course I have! Sakura was always strong, but this time in the war? She saved so many people! I mean, it was pretty awesome!" Naruto giggled to himself, arms behind his head as he stood up.

"No, Naruto. Think. I'm not talking mentally or emotionally..." Kakashi shook his head. "I'm not going to say this to you straight out until you figure it out yourself. Actually, it's not something I should have mentioned at all, but it was out of curiosity."

"Hmm..." Naruto began to think. Physically, physically, physically...he tried to picture Sakura in his mind, a vivid before-and-after the war image. He looked up at the sky as he thought. His eyes widened when he figured it out. "Oh...hehe...you mean..."

Kakashi nodded, holding his Icha Icha Paradise book around the time him and Naruto were talking but now held it right under his shoulder next to one of his arms and kept it locked there. Kakashi actually flushed a bit when he mentioned it. "I-I think..you catch my drift, per say...?"

"You pervert!" Naruto pointed at Kakashi, jaw dropped.

"Women normally don't endow so quickly, so while it's an...interesting topic to talk about...it does strike me as odd."

"Nah, sensei! Pervy Sage used to tell me all the time about Grandma Tsunade! She got _real_ big in only a few months!" Naruto rested a fist against his chin now though. "But, you're right, Sakura has...she has breasts now...Heehee..they were there before, but..Hehe, you know..."

"Speaking of Master Jiraiya, I wonder how many centimeters he would have predicted this time like he did Lady Tsunade...I suppose 180 is a bit too big for Sakura, but..."

"Hmmmm!" Naruto began to think intensely. What he didn't know was that Sasuke was walking into the two's direction, right behind Naruto.

"You two must have a ton of time on your hands to talk about a woman's anatomy."

"Ah! Sasuke!" Naruto yelped when he heard Sasuke right behind him. Before Naruto could turn and greet Sasuke or react even more stupidly, Sasuke kicked Naruto in the ankle, causing him to fall right on his butt.

"Ow! Sasuke! What are you doing here...?" Sasuke continued to be on his way, for _something_ it seemed. He completely ignored Naruto's question. "Hey! Sasuke! Answer my question! Hey! Hey!" Naruto said angrily, putting a fist up but then pouting.

Sasuke had put his hand up as he was walking away, like he was subliminally sending a message to the others like, 'later.'

"Sasukeeee! What's wrong with you! This is the thanks I get?! You're the worst! I swear!" Naruto was yelling at Sasuke as he stood outside the hospital near a bench, though sounded more whiny than actually yelling. He made a big sigh now, along with his cheeks puffed out with a pouty face. "Hm..."

"Looks like someone is feeling the complete opposite way you do today, Naruto," Sasuke, well...seemed _cranky_. "though, I have no doubt it could have just been you." Kakashi was back to reading his book.

But...

Wait.

Did Sasuke just defend _Sakura_? Naruto's jaw dropped now. After all the pain Sasuke caused Sakura, and how he always called her annoying, he thought that even after his apology to her that he probably wouldn't even come close to defending her to say the least.

"Did Sasuke just...defend Sakura?" Naruto asked out loud.

"Seems so...more importantly, it seems he's paying _someone_ a visit."

Naruto didn't understand what the hell Kakashi meant, until Naruto turned around, catching sight of a small pink box in Sasuke's hand, wrapped like a present. More importantly, the pink box had a cherry blossom design which looked like it had Sakura's name all over it. I mean, it was a dead giveaway to all who looked; at least in Naruto's eyes.

All Naruto could do at this point was nod and smile.

"Yeah."

 **Another one-shot I made! This one is more comical than the last for sure! I had to do a lil' Sasusaku, but a more realistic version of Sasusaku, you know? I'm a true fan myself, but I never see the two being as romantic and loud about their relationship as I see other fanfic writers put it, so here you go! Reviews are always welcome! Be sure to check out my other One-shot so far for Naruto, called, "The Heaven He Never Expected". It's more of a serious take than this one, but maybe you'll enjoy it! Until then, thank you very much for your time! All are appreciated in my book! 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! Don't worry, this is probably the last chapter LMAO. I just felt like some things needed to be added and such because I am a fan of Sasusaku myself. Maybe more elaboration? Hehe. Enjoy!**

Naruto was spending a few minutes smiling like an idiot, just sitting on the ground where Sasuke kicked him.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as a sweat drop resided at his temple. "Naruto...I know your shocked, but...Sasuke kicked you _minutes_ ago."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Eh!?" He jumped up. "It's been that long!?" Naruto yelled to himself, hands on his cheeks. "Hmph. If that's a present for Sakura, though...he doesn't know what's coming! Sakura's changed since he's been gone! She's not gonna' accept that from him! That idiot!"

Kakashi put his book away when Naruto said this. "Hm...quite a good point, actually."

"So...you know what we gotta' do, sensei?" Naruto asked, turning to Kakashi with his big grin. He put his thumb out. "Sasuke's gonna need _my_ help this time! I remember back in Team 7, he was always the one helping me!"

Kakashi looked at Naruto's sleeve that had no arm in it since the prosthetic one was in the making and sighed softly. _I'm sure he's helped Sasuke enough...though I can't help but wonder what will become of my two students...better yet, what Sakura will do..._

"Kakashi-sensei, I bet Sasuke is going to flunk without experienced ninja to guide him! We need to watch over them, and step in when he needs our help! Heehee!" Naruto scratched the back of his head with a cheeky grin. "Okay, okay, I admit it! I just wanna see what happens! I bet Sasuke won't do nearly as well as I would do if I were him! Hehe!"

 _Oh boy..._ Kakashi hesitated for a moment, though could only imagine what would happen to Naruto if he was caught alone. Let's just say, a Sasuke-and-Sakura-duo was much less than pleasant. With Sakura's punches and Sasuke's eyes, anything could happen.

"I'll tag along..."

"What!? Really?!" Naruto hummed in thought before making a giant grin. "Alright!"

Naruto looked around quick, before beginning to sneak around the village with Kakashi close behind him. He recalled the way Sasuke went..hmm...that was right; he went near all of the shops and near the training fields! That was it; there were benches around that area somewhere.

Kakashi watched Naruto with his typical bored eyes. _I can't believe I'm going to follow Naruto on this one. He's officially created the worst Team 7 mission yet._

 _ **-**  
_

As Naruto's searching ensued, Sasuke had took a stroll to exactly where Naruto had predicted; the training grounds. At the nearest bench was where Sakura resided, awaiting patiently. It seemed Sasuke, in fact, was the one who asked Sakura to come here. Sakura had her hair down, with a hair tie on her wrist. It must have been in her hair before, taking it out since she didn't have to go to the hospital just yet.

Sakura's green orbs almost instantly caught sight of Sasuke as he walked over. While her heart was hammering against her chest, she attempted to be very casual towards the situation. Sasuke had changed; better yet, Sasuke apologized for everything, but Sakura had ended up waiting patiently for _Sasuke_ to begin that conversation she yearned for. While she still loved Sasuke, she really didn't want to at this point. She was happy he was back in Konoha as it is.

"Sasuke?" Sakura questioned, her arms crossed as she sat. Sasuke's expression changed when he heard Sakura's voice, instantly turning to meet her eyes. Sakura quickly looked away, feeling her cheeks redden. "Did you need something?" She could only doubt outwardly that it was anything special.

 _Why do I hope...that this is something more than just a request? Maybe he- no...he needs something. That's just the way Sasuke is and..I have to accept it. I know he's changed; he's good now, but-_

"Sakura."

Sakura's head instantaneously turned to meet Sasuke's shockingly calm gaze once again. She hadn't expected such calmness to radiate from those familiar dark eyes. Or, at least that calmness was not seen for quite a long time.

Sasuke looked down.

He had a present.

Sakura's eyes widened, cheeks flushing as her eyebrows furrowed. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke finally looked up, like he was hesitating to hand this gift to her. You could say, it was him taking one step further to swallow his pride. His arm, with some hesitation, extended and put the present down in Sakura's lap since she was in too much shock to move.

Once Sasuke realized that Sakura nonetheless seemed to enjoy his action, he took the moment to make a light smile. "Thanks..."

Sakura tightly held the present, clutching it as if her life somehow depended on it. Her eyes filled with tears. "F-For what?" She couldn't believe what occurred. Pathetic or not, this was what she longed for. She cursed in her mind at that very moment. She was supposed to get over Sasuke; he wasn't supposed to come back and control her feelings again! She tried to relax, shutting her eyes quickly so her tears of happiness would fade.

A soft breath escaped Sasuke's lips, before sitting down next to Sakura. "You..know..." He slightly stammered like he usually did when he was younger, especially in the Team 7 days. "thanks...you and Naruto...never seemed to give up on me." His eyes were trailed towards the opposite direction, his hair hiding any obvious blush from the side of his cheek that could have been seen from Sakura's viewpoint.

Sakura stared down at the present in her lap. She noticed Sasuke's sudden patience; he wanted her to open it. A soft smile rested on Sakura's lips, handling the wrapping paper delicately as the present finally came to view. Anything from Sasuke she seemed to handle with grace and delicateness. As seemingly stupid as it sounds, she was persistent enough to even handle the wrapping paper carefully. Once her eyes caught sight of the interesting present before her, she couldn't help but giggle, fist to her mouth.

Well, this wasn't surprising at all. 

So this was what Sasuke thought girls liked. 

What Sakura got was 3 pink kunais, with a bunch of other miniature weaponry that was a lot fancier than the ones she had. She now bursted out laughing, causing Sasuke to shift a little in the seat.

"What is it?"

This made complete sense to Sakura. Sasuke's lifestyle consisted of fighting, missions, walks...he knew nothing about anything else. Sure, he had a lot of girls at his hip sometimes, but he never took a chance with them. Thank God he was back in the village; maybe he would learn a thing or two. Though right now, Sakura was content with the way things were.

"Nothing...it's...nothing!" Sakura tried to stifle her giggling. She felt like Sasuke was much too confident to get embarrassed, so what she was truly worried about was Sasuke thinking she didn't like it or something. Once her giggling calmed down, she began to speak. "Thank you, Sasuke..."

Sasuke quickly changed the subject, either because he was embarrassed or seriously had something to say. Or, maybe both? Honestly, Sasuke was hard to read for most around him.

"Anyways, I didn't just want to come here to give you a present. I wanted to talk about something important."

Sakura kept a smile, tilting her head. "Hm?" She sat with her legs glued together in anticipation. Due to all of her giggles, she wasn't as nervous...but...

Her heart fluttered in excitement.

"After Naruto and I's last battle...I've come to terms with something. It was something I pushed away a lot but after much thinking, I don't think it's something I don't want anymore."

 _Sasuke...what are you trying to say?_ Sakura's heart raced.

"Wait..Kakashi-Sensei-I'm trying to see! I'm trying to see! This was my ide-MMPH!" Naruto fell out of the bushes due to Kakashi wishing to see what was going on when he could sense sparks flying.

Sasuke suddenly stopped talking, quickly getting up. "Naruto!?" He heard Naruto's voice with gritted teeth. He turned around to see Naruto in the bushes...or out of the bushes... near them. Shockingly enough, Kakashi was there too.

"Kakashi-sensei!?" Sakura screamed now in shock, cheeks beet red. Though, she was now disappointed; Sasuke stopped talking completely, distracted by Naruto. Though, what was new in this crazy bunch?

 _Those two..._ "You two...you were _spying_ on us!?" Sakura growled now, getting more aggressive as she began to stomp over. Even Kakashi looked scared. Sasuke, however, couldn't do much since he was still in recovery mode. He only had one arm, for crying out loud and he wasn't quite used to that yet.

"Ah! Sakura! Don't hurt us! I didn't- _we_ didn't mean it!"

"Don't drag me into _your_ idea, Naruto..."

Sasuke kept a hand on his hip from behind Sakura, sending a death glare to both men ( or at this point _boys_ ) and allowing Sakura to finish the job. He smirked a little when he recognized the fire in her eyes, and the pale fist clenching and ready to attack. The familiar feeling it sent Sasuke's way made him smirk and pray that Naruto and Kakashi would live to see the day...or not. Believe it or not, Sasuke was annoyed by the fact that Naruto was being a stalker, more specifically a pervert. What did he _think_ was going to happen?

Sakura grabbed both men, before bonking each one on the head and causing the pair to go flying. She even ignored the fact that Kakashi was her sensei, cheeks beet red and smoke coming out of her head from her embarrassment and how flustered she was before from her and Sasuke's conversation. "You...little..."

"PERVERTS!"

 _Good_ , was all that crossed Sasuke's mind. It seemed that Naruto was finally given a title he deserved.

 **I personally enjoyed writing this! It was nice comic relief after watching the Pain Arc... ( *sniffle*). Did you guys like it? Leave a review here! Always appreciated, friends! Thank you so, so much for reading!**


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